Replace book titles with bacon

^ That's one of the trending topics right now on Twitter. I'm not actually logged in at the moment, so thought I'd share some titles here.

The Bacon Games
Catching Bacon
Baconjay
The Lord of the Bacon
The Fellowship of the Bacon
The Two Bacons
Return of the Bacon
Fight Bacon
Baconormalcy
Bacontastic
The Scarlet Bacon
How the Bacon Stole Christmas
Charlotte's Bacon
Memoirs of a Bacon
Baconborn
Baconbreaker
Baconclimber
Trickster's Bacon
If Bacon Stay[s]
Where Bacon Went
The Lion, The Witch, and the Bacon
Prince Bacon
The Voyage of the Dawn Bacon
The Silver Bacon
The Horse and His Bacon
The Magician's Bacon
The Bacon Battle
Baconlandra
Bridge to Terebaconia
The Bacon Bride

And by "some", I meant "a bunch".

OK, now your turn!

Some things I've been working on.

1) Patches and Pals (WT)

Tasia Henley is seven years old, has a brown eye and a hazel eye, but doesn’t have cancer. The doctors were worried about that because of the whole iris thing, especially when she started complaining that it was really hard to see. Turned out that she just needed glasses.

Actually, it’s her twin Shea who has cancer. Yes, that’s why she’s cross-eyed and has red eyes a lot. That’s also why her eye hurts so much so often. Everything makes a horrible kind of sense now. But Shea is really brave and strong, so Tasia keeps telling everybody that it’s going to be just fine. So stop worrying, ‘kay?

They’re going to do something called an enucleation, which is a fancy word that means when Shea wakes up, she’s only going to have one eye. But that’s OK because it means she gets a cool eye patch, so she might as well be a pirate. And pirates are just so cool, right? Right.

“When you get your pirate ship, I can be first mate, right?” Tasia and Shea’s drawings of their pirate adventures litter the hospital bed.

Shea gives Tasia a pointed look. “Duh. You’re my sister. It’s the rules.” She grabs a red crayon and scribbles in the ship.

2) To Carmen, from Waldo

Where in the world could you be?
Oh I wish there was some way you could see
That you don't need to steal the world
When adventure's all you need
So take my hand and disappear with me*

*Yes, this is about Where's Waldo and Carmen Sandiego. They would be an amazing couple. Search your heart. You know it to be true.

3) Blue Court Revolution (WT)

There was something sort of light and blue flickering in the darkness when he returned. "That was kind of rude, Evan. I was trying to tell you something, and you just ran off." The blue, light thing shifted a little.

Evan squinted. "Oh geez, is that you again?" He half expected her to tell him that the universe was in danger, and he was the only one who could save it. "Why are you blue? I thought we were twins."

"You can see me now? Awesome." The Cora-shape shifted in a way that suggested a sort of strange dance. "And I'm not blue. I'm just wearing Blue Court regalia, but you wouldn't remember that."

The Writer Nutrition Pyramid

It's a bit flawed, but then again, it's just a joke.

(I got a little bored.)

Friday Fragments

It's Friday!

1) And it's my last spring break ever! I love spring break. It means the semester is halfway over, and the rest of the semester tends to go by so fast it gives you whiplash. My friend Kirstin and I are so excited for this one because it means we are PRACTICALLY GRADUATED. Woohoo!

2) Tomorrow night, our youth group is having its annual spaghetti dinner and variety show (I wrote most of the show. So yeah. :D) It's a fundraiser for our summer trip to Christ's Outreach for the Blind. And it's going to be so much fun.

3) I was listening to "If You Wanna, I Might" by hellogoodbye earlier and slowly realized that it's not a love song. It's a song about the query process! Pay attention to the lyrics and think about it:



So... that's all I got for today. Have a good weekend!

Editing scripts while sleep-deprived: A brief look.

Script:

CHESTER
I used to be a Mountie, I'll have you know. That is...
(Looks haunted)
Before the Summer of the Squirrel Moose.
(He slowly puts his hands over his face, breathing heavily. The others just stare at him.)

ASHLEY
Sorry. Sometimes he has Squirrel Moose flashbacks.

TESSA
I'm sorry, but... what in the name of sanity is a squirrel moose?

ASHLEY
Half squirrel, half moose.

CHESTER
(In a dark voice)
All deadly.

Meanwhile, this whole time I've been giggling like mad. And, like I usually do when I'm overtired, I decide to bother my mother.


Me: Mom! Mooom! In the play, there's a Squirrel Moose!
Mom: *At a loss for words*
Me: It's half squirrel, half moose. All. Deadly.
Mom: *Sighs*

The Ugly Truth About Santa Claus

Tonight was girl's night. We realized something horrible about Santa Claus. I wrote a brief essay about it.

--

I have determined why Santa's cheeks are always red, why he is obese, why he thinks he can fit down chimneys, and why he is so jolly.

Santa is an alcoholic.

He has been drinking whiskey constantly on his midnight trips, which explains the red cheeks. Naturally, he has become addicted and started doing this all year long, which also explains why he has gotten so rotund. Since he's not in his right frame of mind when he's drinking, he thinks he can fit down the chimney. The jolly mood should explain itself.

Please, stop encouraging him.

--

Girls nights are interesting.

Ah yes, editing...

I don't think any of us has the exact same editing process. Like a fair number of people like me (the "plotters") might be patient enough to finish the manuscript, and then edit. Hahaha. Yeah right, Grammar Nazi me is going to wait. That manuscript won't even know what hit it. It's gonna be like, "WHOA two seconds ago I had a prologue... not the adverbs and adjectives! MY MODIFIERS! Oh God, it burns! IT BURNS!"

My first edits are always akin to assaulting Microsoft Word. :) How about you?

The Life of a Mary Sue

Too busy writing to write a real post (as has been the trend for November), so I give you this. It is quite hilarious and catchy.

The Night Before NaNo

It was the night before NaNo, and all through the cafes
Every writer was stirring, preparing for the next day

Every plotter had a plot line; every pantser had pants
Each one hoping to win, and then they would dance

The forums were hopping with all the new threads
While visions of purple bars danced in our heads

My friends and I with our costumes and pens*
Had just finished trick-or-treating again

Then I realized November was mere hours away!
I shouted, “Let’s go to a write-in! Right now, I say!”

We grabbed our computers and our drivers of flash
Tore down the streets in a frenzied dash

When what to our eyes should come into sight
But a small café, with people ready to write

They looked so nervous, but raring to go
I knew in a moment they must be Wrimos

We joined them inside and talked about plots
And how all this candy would make our teeth rot

More rapid than eagles, midnight it came
And on our computers, we wrote our first 1K

Then when our eyes could take no more
We shut it all down and left through the door

And for now, that's really all I can say
But Happy NaNo to all, and to all, 50K!

--

*Pencils are still better. :P

Yes, it's been done before. Yes, some of the rhymes aren't perfect. Yes, it's way shorter than the real Night Before Christmas. But it's just for fun. :)

Happy NaNoing, everybody!

Why NaNoWriMo is better than Halloween and always will be.

1) The rush you get from finishing is way more thrilling than a sugar rush.
2) NaNoWriMo actually helps you accomplish something.
3) The scariest part about NaNo is the 30Ks.
4) It actually has proper theme songs.
5) You make new friends. Inside your head and outside your head. :P
6) It lasts a whole month instead of only one day.

Anybody else got anything?